Post by Admin on Apr 1, 2016 11:02:53 GMT -7
GLA Mass Resignation - Several Director's apologize...
On the heels of the news that Church Universal and Triumphant is selling the vast holdings of land it owns in North and South Glastonbury to private developers the GLA Board of Directors accepted resignations from several members today. The Church founded the community of Glastonbury as a spiritual retreat that quickly turned into a profitable enterprise. The Church trademarked the name "Community of Glastonbury" and had high hopes for a thriving, self sustaining and immensely profitable community. Some members talked of tee shirts, coffee mugs and mouse pads emblazoned with the trademarked logo and sold worldwide on Amazon. Others dreamed of skyscrapers, thriving businesses and huge commercial developments for the faithful in both North and South Glastonbury. A few saw franchise opportunities with Community of Glastonbury developments sprinkled around the globe like Trump Hotels.
But over the years church members have dwindled as Glastonbury landowners. Church Universal and Triumphant finally decided to pull the plug on Glastonbury and pursue more profitable opportunities. The GLA was seen as the local ruling arm of the Church and often presided over Glastonbury with unrelenting power. President Charlotte Mizzi accepted all of the resignations and then presented her own reasons for quitting. "I am tired of having to pound my gavel incessantly to bring the unwashed masses in the audience and a few members of the Board under control" she stated. Charlotte continued "These newcomers do not have a clue, yet they think they know everything. I am tired of babysitting...". Dan Kehoe agreed and gave his reasons for resigning when he characteristically mumbled "The newcomers do not understand harmony and have little to no respect for people that are many lifetimes ahead of them in terms of their spirituality. I am sick of being ignored and even mocked by low life who do not understand how ignorant they are. Ever since I handed the reins to Charlotte the monthly meetings have gone to hell. I have a headache after every meeting and I think the gavel pounding is part of the reason" he finished. Other directors were equally in pain. Several complained of headaches and various intense body pains after each meeting.
Charlene Murphy resigned but her tone and reasons were forgiving and understanding. She apologized for all the errors she made over her decades of service to the community. "I was only trying to do what was right" she explained. "I truly believed that if everyone would just sign confidentiality agreements we could put an end to all the bickering and work together to achieve harmony". "It is good business practice to keep secrets and the people who do not agree lack integrity" she emphatically added. Treasurer Rudy Parker agreed and stated "Some of these newcomers think I am an idiot. They do not understand how difficult it is to keep all these numbers and amounts straight". He continued with profuse apologies saying that he really was sorry for all the accounting errors. "Most of my errors were small, even just a penny here and there" Rudy stated. He concluded by saying "Erasing or editing entries in QuickBooks is much easier than creating new accounts. Besides that is how we have always done business and nobody ever complained. A Treasurer needs "wiggle room" to be effective". When asked if his resignation would mean that the landowners would finally get 100% transparent books so they could see EXACTLY where and how their money was spent Rudy replied "They do not need to know. Only we need to know and we are doing what we believe is right. The financial statements are very difficult to understand and even I am sometimes confused. I doubt that there are more than 2 or 3 people in our community that know as much as I do and really care about the financials". A former Board member chimed in "They (the outsiders) do not understand that we are all volunteers. We have lives and we are doing the best we can with the talent we have".
Former Treasurer Sheridan Stenberg agreed with Rudy when she said "I had lots of wiggle room when I was in charge of collecting past due assessments from landowners. I was very compassionate and gave forgave tens of thousands of dollars in assessments, penalties and interest. If it were not for the ungrateful, hardhearted newcomers and all their complaining I could have had the past due assessment problem solved within a year". Several Directors nodded their heads in agreement. Asked about the difficulty in understanding financial statements Sheridan agreed with Rudy. "I always took the easiest route possible to get the statements to look right. No one ever questioned my figures and they were always approved by the Board" she added.
When asked about the future of the community almost everyone agreed that it was a mistake for Church Universal and Triumphant to let outsiders into the community in 1997. One director said "the Church needed money and most of us already gave everything we had. We paid for the property we purchased from them, paid fees for every little thing they asked for, and then gave 10% of our incomes to them every year. Anyone that refused or even complained had their property seized, sold and were kicked out of the church and community". Another director nostalgically opined that if the GLA Board had retained that kind of power the present problems of persistent and pesky landowner's, incessantly complaining could be rapidly taken care of. The good old days when everyone got along and harmony ruled with a iron fist appeared to be permanently in the past. Everyone agreed that the mass resignations were a sad day for the future of Glastonbury. "What will the outsiders do now that the have lost our divine spiritual guidance" questioned Dan Kehoe. "Let them eat cake" responded Charlotte Mizzi.
Paul Ranttalo offered his resignation and apologized for charging tens of thousands of dollars for faulty road work on the North Glastonbury paved loop. "I know the crack sealing I did failed after one winter. But I learned from my mistakes and I am truly sorry the road is no better off" he said ruefully. When asked if he would redo the work or provide a refund to the landowners Paul stated that he was tired and broke."I have devoted my life to this community and have little to show for it" he said. "Meanwhile the rich newcomers complain all the time, never give money to the Church and some do not even pay their assessments. I quit" he exclaimed. "Besides" he added "everyone was paid out of the cookie jar of landowner's assessments. I did nothing wrong".
Former Board President Alyssa Allen defended being paid tens of thousands of dollars for clerical and administrative work. She said "I did great work for the GLA. Nobody could produce a better newsletter than me and I charged a fair rate for my excellent work". Alyssa continued "Most of the directors I had to work with could barely tie their shoes every morning. Under my leadership we finally broke the backs of the evil, nasty O's and almost freed our community from spiritual pariahs". Alyssa ended her spiel by stating that the community got a bargain by paying her tens of thousands of dollars and she thought the smarter members would be eternally grateful. "I completed my spiritual journey with the GLA and I am now way above any of them. It will take them several lifetimes to achieve the position I am now at" she concluded.
Mark Seaver also resigned. He complained that the Board really needed to move to Maryland during the winter so he could physically attend more meetings. His resignation was given over the phone and some people were not sure it was even him. Mark has not been physically seen for many months and there are rumors that he passed on and was reincarnated. When questioned if a reincarnated director could still serve, Dan Kehoe suggested that the attorneys be consulted.
Richard Johnson was happy to resign. "I never wanted to serve in the first place" he stated. "They said it was my duty and if I did not serve that an outsider would instead". Richard continued. "I have already served my country and my community for over 50 years. I am tired and these long boring meetings run way past my normal bedtime".
Newman Brozovsky was taciturn and looked confused. Charlotte told him that he did a fine job and usually voted the right way.
Ed Dobrowski did not offer his resignation because he was convinced that the GLA had a stash of cash hidden in the savings account and he was determined to spend as much as possible to fix Arcturus and the roads he traveled on daily in South Glastonbury. Dan Kehoe mumbled something about how all that money was in the budget, there was no stash of cash, and if Ed would only listen...
Gerald Dubiel refused to resign. He gave a stirring speech where he claimed that "We will work everything out and all will be well". "We are going to make it right" he proclaimed. "We will convert the GLA's cash assets to gold and fully stock the North and South soup kitchens so no one will suffer" Gerald said. "Future assessments must be paid in gold or silver as cash will be worthless" he added. Kevin Newby added that assessments should be based on land and the number of sinks per year in each household. "An ounce of silver per sink, working or not, is the fairest method of assessing homes" Newby stated. Others were not convinced and most seemed worn out from months of fighting with and resisting all new ideas, offers of assistance and displays of leadership from "the outsiders".
Dennis Riley and Kevin Newby also refused to resign. Dennis immediately offered to run for President while stating that the treasurer's job was beyond his abilities. Newby declared that whoever gets to be treasurer better make the financial statements so easy to read that even he could understand them. Industrial mogul and frequent GLA Board critic Regina Wunsch offered her financial expertise but only if the Board agreed to honor the "agreement" SpecTec had with the Church. She stated that "no road impact fee should be required" regarding their factory and 157 employees because the Church agreement said they could have up to 400 employees as long as all were tithing members. The constant employee and business travel has worn Hercules Road down to bedrock.
Comments were not immediately available from "the outsiders" but it is hoped that they will post them below. When the Forum was questioned about how the Church liquidating it's land holdings in Glastonbury and mass GLA Board resignations would effect it, Tim Brockett cupped his ear and asked us to repeat the question. Then he replied "The outrageous behavior of the GLA Board has been a real boost for Forum page views. Our page views recently topped the 100,000 mark and we hoped to surpass 1 million by 2017. If the new directors come from the ranks of the outsiders I am afraid the meetings will be shorter, less entertaining and real business will get done. There will not be as much to write about and we may have to wait a few years to hit the million mark". Tim lives in the furthest reaches of South Glastonbury where he shares a home with grizzlies, mountain lions and wolves while running an online book store out of his basement. It takes him 20 minutes driving in a battered Jeep over virtually impassable goat trails the GLA deems as platted roads just to get to a county paved road. He added "at least the roads will be properly maintained, property values will rise and real harmony through shared prosperity may just happen".
Several long term landowners were reluctant to even now criticize the resigned members of the GLA Board. All assured us though that despite the rampant corruption The Teachings would persevere and eventually flourish in the new environment of cooperation and acceptance. They believed that the turmoil was needed and would help usher in a new and promising age for Glastonbury.
But over the years church members have dwindled as Glastonbury landowners. Church Universal and Triumphant finally decided to pull the plug on Glastonbury and pursue more profitable opportunities. The GLA was seen as the local ruling arm of the Church and often presided over Glastonbury with unrelenting power. President Charlotte Mizzi accepted all of the resignations and then presented her own reasons for quitting. "I am tired of having to pound my gavel incessantly to bring the unwashed masses in the audience and a few members of the Board under control" she stated. Charlotte continued "These newcomers do not have a clue, yet they think they know everything. I am tired of babysitting...". Dan Kehoe agreed and gave his reasons for resigning when he characteristically mumbled "The newcomers do not understand harmony and have little to no respect for people that are many lifetimes ahead of them in terms of their spirituality. I am sick of being ignored and even mocked by low life who do not understand how ignorant they are. Ever since I handed the reins to Charlotte the monthly meetings have gone to hell. I have a headache after every meeting and I think the gavel pounding is part of the reason" he finished. Other directors were equally in pain. Several complained of headaches and various intense body pains after each meeting.
Charlene Murphy resigned but her tone and reasons were forgiving and understanding. She apologized for all the errors she made over her decades of service to the community. "I was only trying to do what was right" she explained. "I truly believed that if everyone would just sign confidentiality agreements we could put an end to all the bickering and work together to achieve harmony". "It is good business practice to keep secrets and the people who do not agree lack integrity" she emphatically added. Treasurer Rudy Parker agreed and stated "Some of these newcomers think I am an idiot. They do not understand how difficult it is to keep all these numbers and amounts straight". He continued with profuse apologies saying that he really was sorry for all the accounting errors. "Most of my errors were small, even just a penny here and there" Rudy stated. He concluded by saying "Erasing or editing entries in QuickBooks is much easier than creating new accounts. Besides that is how we have always done business and nobody ever complained. A Treasurer needs "wiggle room" to be effective". When asked if his resignation would mean that the landowners would finally get 100% transparent books so they could see EXACTLY where and how their money was spent Rudy replied "They do not need to know. Only we need to know and we are doing what we believe is right. The financial statements are very difficult to understand and even I am sometimes confused. I doubt that there are more than 2 or 3 people in our community that know as much as I do and really care about the financials". A former Board member chimed in "They (the outsiders) do not understand that we are all volunteers. We have lives and we are doing the best we can with the talent we have".
Former Treasurer Sheridan Stenberg agreed with Rudy when she said "I had lots of wiggle room when I was in charge of collecting past due assessments from landowners. I was very compassionate and gave forgave tens of thousands of dollars in assessments, penalties and interest. If it were not for the ungrateful, hardhearted newcomers and all their complaining I could have had the past due assessment problem solved within a year". Several Directors nodded their heads in agreement. Asked about the difficulty in understanding financial statements Sheridan agreed with Rudy. "I always took the easiest route possible to get the statements to look right. No one ever questioned my figures and they were always approved by the Board" she added.
When asked about the future of the community almost everyone agreed that it was a mistake for Church Universal and Triumphant to let outsiders into the community in 1997. One director said "the Church needed money and most of us already gave everything we had. We paid for the property we purchased from them, paid fees for every little thing they asked for, and then gave 10% of our incomes to them every year. Anyone that refused or even complained had their property seized, sold and were kicked out of the church and community". Another director nostalgically opined that if the GLA Board had retained that kind of power the present problems of persistent and pesky landowner's, incessantly complaining could be rapidly taken care of. The good old days when everyone got along and harmony ruled with a iron fist appeared to be permanently in the past. Everyone agreed that the mass resignations were a sad day for the future of Glastonbury. "What will the outsiders do now that the have lost our divine spiritual guidance" questioned Dan Kehoe. "Let them eat cake" responded Charlotte Mizzi.
Paul Ranttalo offered his resignation and apologized for charging tens of thousands of dollars for faulty road work on the North Glastonbury paved loop. "I know the crack sealing I did failed after one winter. But I learned from my mistakes and I am truly sorry the road is no better off" he said ruefully. When asked if he would redo the work or provide a refund to the landowners Paul stated that he was tired and broke."I have devoted my life to this community and have little to show for it" he said. "Meanwhile the rich newcomers complain all the time, never give money to the Church and some do not even pay their assessments. I quit" he exclaimed. "Besides" he added "everyone was paid out of the cookie jar of landowner's assessments. I did nothing wrong".
Former Board President Alyssa Allen defended being paid tens of thousands of dollars for clerical and administrative work. She said "I did great work for the GLA. Nobody could produce a better newsletter than me and I charged a fair rate for my excellent work". Alyssa continued "Most of the directors I had to work with could barely tie their shoes every morning. Under my leadership we finally broke the backs of the evil, nasty O's and almost freed our community from spiritual pariahs". Alyssa ended her spiel by stating that the community got a bargain by paying her tens of thousands of dollars and she thought the smarter members would be eternally grateful. "I completed my spiritual journey with the GLA and I am now way above any of them. It will take them several lifetimes to achieve the position I am now at" she concluded.
Mark Seaver also resigned. He complained that the Board really needed to move to Maryland during the winter so he could physically attend more meetings. His resignation was given over the phone and some people were not sure it was even him. Mark has not been physically seen for many months and there are rumors that he passed on and was reincarnated. When questioned if a reincarnated director could still serve, Dan Kehoe suggested that the attorneys be consulted.
Richard Johnson was happy to resign. "I never wanted to serve in the first place" he stated. "They said it was my duty and if I did not serve that an outsider would instead". Richard continued. "I have already served my country and my community for over 50 years. I am tired and these long boring meetings run way past my normal bedtime".
Newman Brozovsky was taciturn and looked confused. Charlotte told him that he did a fine job and usually voted the right way.
Ed Dobrowski did not offer his resignation because he was convinced that the GLA had a stash of cash hidden in the savings account and he was determined to spend as much as possible to fix Arcturus and the roads he traveled on daily in South Glastonbury. Dan Kehoe mumbled something about how all that money was in the budget, there was no stash of cash, and if Ed would only listen...
Gerald Dubiel refused to resign. He gave a stirring speech where he claimed that "We will work everything out and all will be well". "We are going to make it right" he proclaimed. "We will convert the GLA's cash assets to gold and fully stock the North and South soup kitchens so no one will suffer" Gerald said. "Future assessments must be paid in gold or silver as cash will be worthless" he added. Kevin Newby added that assessments should be based on land and the number of sinks per year in each household. "An ounce of silver per sink, working or not, is the fairest method of assessing homes" Newby stated. Others were not convinced and most seemed worn out from months of fighting with and resisting all new ideas, offers of assistance and displays of leadership from "the outsiders".
Dennis Riley and Kevin Newby also refused to resign. Dennis immediately offered to run for President while stating that the treasurer's job was beyond his abilities. Newby declared that whoever gets to be treasurer better make the financial statements so easy to read that even he could understand them. Industrial mogul and frequent GLA Board critic Regina Wunsch offered her financial expertise but only if the Board agreed to honor the "agreement" SpecTec had with the Church. She stated that "no road impact fee should be required" regarding their factory and 157 employees because the Church agreement said they could have up to 400 employees as long as all were tithing members. The constant employee and business travel has worn Hercules Road down to bedrock.
Comments were not immediately available from "the outsiders" but it is hoped that they will post them below. When the Forum was questioned about how the Church liquidating it's land holdings in Glastonbury and mass GLA Board resignations would effect it, Tim Brockett cupped his ear and asked us to repeat the question. Then he replied "The outrageous behavior of the GLA Board has been a real boost for Forum page views. Our page views recently topped the 100,000 mark and we hoped to surpass 1 million by 2017. If the new directors come from the ranks of the outsiders I am afraid the meetings will be shorter, less entertaining and real business will get done. There will not be as much to write about and we may have to wait a few years to hit the million mark". Tim lives in the furthest reaches of South Glastonbury where he shares a home with grizzlies, mountain lions and wolves while running an online book store out of his basement. It takes him 20 minutes driving in a battered Jeep over virtually impassable goat trails the GLA deems as platted roads just to get to a county paved road. He added "at least the roads will be properly maintained, property values will rise and real harmony through shared prosperity may just happen".
Several long term landowners were reluctant to even now criticize the resigned members of the GLA Board. All assured us though that despite the rampant corruption The Teachings would persevere and eventually flourish in the new environment of cooperation and acceptance. They believed that the turmoil was needed and would help usher in a new and promising age for Glastonbury.
Today is April 1st.....Happy April Fool's Day!
